Your Roller Derby Questions: Answered

Since I joined Oil City five months ago, I’ve gotten a crap tonne of questions about what it’s like to play roller derby and/or be a derby girl. I thought I’d throw them all into one ridiculous long post for your reading convenience.

Weren’t you terrified of joining?
Yes. If you’ve ever gotten food poisoning and have felt the contents of your stomach try and evacuate north and south simultaneously, you are aware of the feelings that I was having as I drove to the Grindhouse the very first time. Luckily, my new friend G33K decided she wanted to join too, so it wasn’t as scary. Moral of the story: if you’re scared shitless, take a friend to be scared shitless with.

Two tests, just to skate in a circle and hit bitches?
You got it! We have to be able to do all of these things. And then we have to learn a gazillion rules about the game.

How many times a week do you skate?
Technically there are four practices that I could attend, but right now I try and stick with three per week. Derby is a pretty big commitment, but I love it and Sean is pretty much the most supportive partner a girl could ask for. He stays home with Attia while I skate my ass off. I suppose now would also be a good time to thank Peter & Clara for feeding my husband and kid so frequently – thanks!

What do you do at practices?
For the first little while it was learning a lot of skills. Starting. Stopping. Falling. Hitting. Blocking. Whipping. Skating. All kinds of things, really. Practicing skills over and over and over. Each day of the week has a different focus, but the premise is the same: skate lots and skate hard.

The point of roller derby is what?
To get your Jammer through the pack so she can score points while keeping the other team’s Jammer from doing the same.

Where do you get your gear?
RollerGirl, Wicked & Bad Girlfriend.

What’s your name and how did you pick it?
Siren Song. Shortened to Siren. I was wearing an old Starbucks t-shirt the day that I picked my name. It’s no secret that I love Starbucks Coffee and the old school Siren logo is pretty much the best thing ever. And the myth of the Siren is entirely perfect for derby. I lure you in and then I kick your ass.

When is your first game?
Officially my team’s next game is supposed to happen while I’m at Sasquatch, but I’m hoping due to the smallish size of most of the house teams, I might be able to sneak my way onto a roster before then. If not, there’s a fresh meat frolic set to happen in June 2013. Yes, this means I successfully passed my minimum skills requirements and the rules tests. As of this post I’ve completed 1/3 scrimmages. I’m well on my way to playing in that first game.

Does your Mom know you wear outfits like that?
You’ve seen my Instagram feed right? Pretty sure she knows. And, my outfits are pretty tame. Tights and booty shorts is about as sexy as it gets. A week into my derby career some senior girlstold me, “If you’re constantly adjusting and/or picking your shorts out of your ass, you won’t play well. A boutfit isn’t the point of derby.” Add to that, fishnets at your own risk.

Aren’t you afraid of getting hurt?
I’m not sure afraid is the right word. I definitely know that a derby injury is more a matter of when, and not if. But it isn’t as though I am paralyzed by a crippling fear every time I put my gear on. We wear a crap tonne of gear, and I’ve never had any joint problems. That said, derby is intensely physical and I have gotten bruises on places I didn’t know existed. Derby can hurt, but it’s not as bad as you might think.

What’s a derby wife?
A derby wife is someone that has your back. On and off track. They’re there for better, for worse, for richer and for poorer…that whole bit. I’m not even joking. The relationships you form while playing derby are nothing short of amazing. And when you find that special lady, you propose. Or if you’re like me and you love too many people, you find awesome wives like Trip and Diva that will add you to their incredible family that includes a Mister’ess, two daughters, and a girlfriend (me). And then they lavish you with tough love, encouragement and awesome gifts like sparkly tights and bad-ass unicorn skirts for scrimmage (love you Trip!).

Could I play derby?
Yes! You definitely could. Check out your local league’s web page to see when they do their recruitment night. Derby isĀ the best.

I should really come to a game sometime, hey?
Yes, you should. Get your tickets from me, they’re $5 cheaper than at the door.

Anything I missed, leave me a question and if there’s enough you’ll get a round two!

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One Response to “Your Roller Derby Questions: Answered”

  1. Mary February 15, 2013 at 9:01 pm #

    I have a pretty amazing daughter!